Sunday 23rd September - a sermon on being time to talk

Gospel Reading    Mark 9.30-37

They went on from there and passed through Galilee. He did not want anyone to know it; ³¹for he was teaching his disciples, saying to them, ‘The Son of Man is to be betrayed into human hands, and they will kill him, and three days after being killed, he will rise again.’ ³²But they did not understand what he was saying and were afraid to ask him.

³³ Then they came to Capernaum; and when he was in the house he asked them, ‘What were you arguing about on the way?’ ³⁴But they were silent, for on the way they had argued with one another about who was the greatest. ³⁵He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, ‘Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all.’ ³⁶Then he took a little child and put it among them; and taking it in his arms, he said to them, ³⁷‘Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes not me but the one who sent me.’

Sunday 23^rd September 2018

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Have you ever wanted to ask a question, but were afraid to ask? 

That moment when the disciples were afraid to ask is often overlooked but feels very real.

So, it got me thinking about that time when you, when I, were afraid to ask or speak… and then as a result, missed out on something important or regretted later on, wishing we were braver, or cleverer?

And you won’t believe this, but I used to be quite shy, so there were many times when this stopped me from asking, talking or putting myself forward. I seem to be getting over this now, after all, somehow I ended up standing here…

So, the disciples needed to understand Jesus when he said, “The Son of Man is to be betrayed into human hands, and they will kill him, and three days after being killed, he will rise again.”

But they didn’t have a clue, they were afraid to ask and it’s not clear why. Were they shy? I doubt it. So instead, they took a tangent, debating who was greatest.

They avoided the big issue and dwelt on something much less important instead. It’s a common reaction, in fact some people do this on purpose to avoid answering a question, like those who when we ask how they are, say, I’m fine – when we know they’re really not…

To us, Jesus statement makes sense, we’re certainly used to hearing it in our services and readings, and after all, it describes exactly what happened and is recorded later on in the gospels.

But, even though these words of betrayal, death and resurrection are familiar, making sense of them takes a leap of faith. We can accept the disciples being confused, this prophecy hadn’t happened yet, but for us, fully understanding how a God can be Human, can die and then be resurrected is a familiar mystery.

And while we accept the words, knowing how this works is another matter, so it’s not surprising they struggled.

This fear of asking, whether from not understanding the statement, fear of the answer or fear of what may happen, is very natural.

Jesus isn’t afraid or angry in response though, he knows they lack understanding about what will happen, but he also knows that it will become clearer over time, that all they need to do now, is remember his foretelling.

Of course, Jesus perceives their confusion but for now, corrects them on their argument, rather than his statement about his betrayal, death and resurrection.

Their argument, about who is greatest, is, to Jesus, completely the wrong way around, so he spins it back around by 180 degrees, declaring that it will be the humblest, the least powerful, and the innocent who will come first, and not those who seek power and status. Even Christians seem to forget this sometimes.

Again, Jesus turns the disciples completely around, from fear to love, from a place where the disciples were afraid to ask, Jesus responds with an act of love, by taking a child in his arms as a prop!

In fact, his simple message is that by welcoming each other with the care we would an innocent, humble child, we are being Christ to each other.

The wonderful thing about children of course, is that they wouldn’t be afraid to ask.

If a young child doesn’t understand or something doesn’t make sense, they don’t hold back in asking. In fact their questions are often more profound than we can imagine, testing the best of theologians!

However, I want to go deeper into this idea of being afraid to ask. This speaks to us because it happens all the time, the fear of asking or of talking is very common.

It does sound odd, we think of Jesus as being loving, open, approachable and kind, but for some reason they were afraid. This kind of typifies the way the disciples are often portrayed in Mark’s Gospel, as being confused, misunderstanding situations or saying the wrong things.

So, as an example, I know someone who took two months to tell his wife he was struggling with anxiety and depression, then took another month to see the doctor and a counsellor but is now starting to get better.

So why was that person afraid to talk? Like the disciples, many people are afraid to talk, especially about mental health, there is a fear of stigma, of being judged, of being misunderstood, of showing weakness.

That people will be told to just pull themselves together. These problems are not easy to deal with, especially when it comes to talking to someone we love.

However, we have a culture where a lot of people are often reluctant to ask for help or talk about the things which trouble them.

For example, a recent statistic tells us that 22% of girls aged 14 have self-harmed, another that among men under 50 suicide is now the highest cause of death for that age group. This is quite shocking

Recent data tells us that depression will affect 1 in 4 people in the UK, to varying degrees and yet our mental health provision is very poor. People are afraid to ask for help and are afraid to talk and it’s a big problem.

The first thing to emphasise, is that these are medical conditions, just like a broken leg or pneumonia, they are caused by chemical imbalances in the brain or from extremes of stress and anxiety.

It’s okay to not be okay. God’s involvement is not in causing these things but in God’s compassion, love and care for all who suffer, to be alongside all in need.

God will help healing, through prayer, forgiveness and also through the agency of counsellors, listeners, doctors and appropriate medicine.

A statistic of 1 in 4 means than there will be people here today who have struggled with depression and have sometimes needed help. The big issue though, is not talking and for many conditions, talking is the best medicine.

There are campaigns seeking to help; Bishop Rachel has been running a campaign aimed mainly at schoolgirls called lie-dentity, encouraging them to see that their self-worth lies in who they are, not in what they look like.

So, yes, prayer does help, knowing that God loves you unconditionally, helps, but believing these things can be difficult when the darkness seems impenetrable and self-worth or self-esteem have been diminished.

So what can we do? Firstly, if you’re in pain, please seek help, find someone to talk to, a friend, a minister, the doctor, the Samaritans, NHS 111 – all of these and more can help.

When someone says they are fine and you’re not convinced, please give them some time to listen and to know you care. Come and talk to me, or any of us, we’re here for you.

If someone talks to you, just let them, try not to judge, try not to compare their pain with yours or someone else’s, we don’t need to understand, just listen, knowing they aren’t alone and that they have a friend who cares will be so important to them.

When in a difficult place, it can be easy to not be in the here and now. We need to remind ourselves that the past is done and the future is unknown, Jesus said, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.

Each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34). Work on being in the here and now, meditation and mindfulness can help with this.

The Bible is full of hope too, think of Job, suffering through no fault of his own, yet always faithful to God who restores him. Jonah, despairing in the whale, avoiding God, then feeling betrayed when God doesn’t destroy Nineveh, or Elijah, losing hope and wanting to die, but being sustained by God in the wilderness before recovering. 

Then of course the psalms, songs of lament and despair, but also joy, hope and faith. The message is always that God is there for you, even when everything else can seem lost. The Lord lifts those who are bowed down (Ps.146), He leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul (Ps.23)

It was clear that Jesus knew what was troubling the disciples even though they were afraid to speak. His response was an act of love, encouraging them to approach him as a child would.

I’d suggest that if you or someone you know is struggling, then those closest to them already know something is wrong, even if they can’t name it. So when the fear of speaking is overcome, it may not be a surprise.

There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in. There is always light, always hope, even if it doesn’t feel like it today.

The disciples didn’t know, but when Jesus said he would rise again, this was a promise of eternal hope, that whatever comes before, it will be followed by resurrection, new life, transformation and new beginnings.

Of a life so full of abundant joy and hope that the Kingdom is ready and waiting on earth today, just waiting for us to let go of being afraid and accept Jesus fully into our hearts.

My prayer is simply for you to know that Jesus is with you, wherever you are today.

(I didn't say this bit: Now it feels like I should say something like, if you have been affected by any of the issues raised here, please call our helpline. Well, I haven’t got my own helpline but there are some useful numbers and websites for places to start

https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/mental-health-and-stigma/help-and-support )

Amen